fallontonight
What was the meanest prank Chris ever played on you? 
Scott: Like I said before, there’s literally a million, but as a little brother I was like ‘that’s amazing.’ We were outside one time, playing outside, no toys, nothing, just imaginary games - and we both had to go to the bathroom. And he said to me, ‘
Well, we don’t wanna go inside (obviously), it takes up too much time, why don’t we just.. go right now, like, in our pants.’ And I was like, ‘What do you mean?’ And of course he could’ve said anything and I would’ve been like ‘that sounds awesome.’”
derp

thelilnan:

the-time-goddess-of-221b:

Who’s ready to hear the best joke ever? Ok *clears throat*

A rich snail goes into a car shop, picks out a super fast car, and says “I want a big S painted on the right side, the left side, the front, the back, I want big S’s everywhere.” And the car painter asks “Why?” And the snail says “Because when I pass people on the road I want them to point at me and say ‘Wow! Look at that escargot!”

you had me at rich snail